Agree on a safeword
Make “stop” clear before anything else. A safeword needs to work without guesswork.
Agree on what means pause and what means stop. Either person can withdraw consent at any time.
How should you choose the word?
Choose a word you can both express clearly. Avoid one likely to blend into ordinary conversation. Say it together once and check that you both understand it.
Does the word mean pause or stop? What should each of you do next? Agree before the moment arrives. Either person can withdraw consent at any time.
What happens when someone uses it?
Follow the agreement when you hear the word. If it means stop, stop the relevant arrangement. Ask what your partner needs. Do not delay stopping with questions or persuasion.
Confirm again before continuing after a pause. An earlier yes does not decide what someone wants now. If your partner has not agreed to continue, do not continue.
Does no safeword mean yes?
No. A safeword does not replace informed consent. Ordinary words such as “no” and “stop” still count. Do not require your partner to use one special word to refuse.
If someone hesitates or does not respond, pause and check. Clear boundaries are more useful than reading the mood. Either person can withdraw earlier consent.
What should you talk about afterwards?
Make time to ask how you both feel. What was clear? What needs a different way of saying it? You can adjust the agreement together before another occasion.
The conversation needs boundaries too. Either person can stop talking. Do not keep questioning until you get the answer you want. Hear what they actually want before deciding on a next step.
More questions?
How do we agree on a safeword?
A safeword is a word you both agree to use for a pause or stop. Set your boundaries and agree on exactly what the word means. Either person can withdraw consent at any time.
Do big differences mean we do not fit?
Big differences do not settle whether you fit together. Start with your respective Dom and Sub values, then compare each dimension. Pick one difference and ask what each of you wants. The report cannot predict relationship success. Any arrangement needs informed consent from both of you. Either person can stop at any time.
What is aftercare?
Aftercare means making time afterwards to ask how you both feel and what you need. The conversation still needs informed consent from both people. Respect each other's boundaries, with the freedom to stop at any time.
Will my answers be shared?
Your data stays private. The system does not show individual answers to your partner. You decide whether to share your own result.